Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
