Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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