Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
