i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
