She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
