Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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