hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I see more hoeing in ur future
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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