Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
