I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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