I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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