this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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