There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
