you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
