(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
