dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
