please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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