He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize