i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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