Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
