I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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