Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
