So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You were trust falling into bushes
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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