SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
