Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
FUCK WHALES
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
