Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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