Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
