wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
