i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
