D3 body, D1 cock
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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