I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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