love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
