did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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