you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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