Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
