Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
