Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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