Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
