I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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