Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
