That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
A+ Viking dick
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
