We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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