Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize