and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Michael Bay diarrhea
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
