He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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