its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
