I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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