Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
