My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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