i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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