what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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