there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
