YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
