after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
