i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize