once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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