I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
