omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
