Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
