Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
