No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
